Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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