problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize