let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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