i would punch a child for taco bell
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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