There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
