I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
