PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
