I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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