god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
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I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize