but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
