WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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