We won't sleep together?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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