Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My hand turned me down
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
