Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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