Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
