there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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