to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
