Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
