Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
