Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
