Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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