But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
