capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
