I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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