Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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