is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
