ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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