Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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