Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
