I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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