Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
