dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
