..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
