Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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