yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
