8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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