Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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