Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
