I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
either way he was missing a nipple.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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