two words: eviction party
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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