Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
