I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She's not a foreskin expert like you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
