first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
