last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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