.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
A bitchslap is in order.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?