HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am