Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night