i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
