You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just tell him i said nine months
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
