so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
