so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
