can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
