summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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