one might say we're banned from that church
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
