Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
