I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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