there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
