Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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