I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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