I hate all girls vehemently.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
