and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
