imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
