It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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