Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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