so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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