Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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